


Bittersweet

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Adult Dipper Pines, Adult Mabel Pines, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Character Development, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Human Bill Cipher, I swear, I'm Sorry, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, ending might be sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-10-03 07:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10239614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The haunting memories of Weirdmaggedon bother Dipper even six years later and after a countless amount of times he had tried to get rid of them to no avail, his parents decided to send him and Mabel back to Gravity Falls. Fight fire with fire.While on an innocent walk in the woods, Dipper makes one, accidental, dumb mistake that doesn't bring a sweet price. It brings a... Rather obnoxious one.Having to team up and work together with your ex enemy isn't an easy task.





	1. Past Memories And New Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> So here's a thing!
> 
> I'll write more stuff at the end, so all I can say now is; hope you enjoy!

_I’m alive,_

_I'm breathing today,_

_I’m alive,_

_Just dying to make,_

_A good vibe,_

_I’m still in the game,_

_And I won’t live my life afraid._

**_Life Afraid || Set It Off_ **

* * *

 

"So? What does it feel like?"

Dipper leaned back on the seat, propping his feet up on the dashboard, despite Mabel's constant warnings about how dangerous it is. He let the soft breeze peering through the open window play with his hair, making it messier than it already was. The corner of his eye caught a glimpse of the sun peeking from between the trees that formed a dark, almost scary forest. It used to creep Dipper out, he always felt as if someone was watching him.

"It feels... Nice.", he breathed, closing his eyes for a while. "Better than it did the first time coming here."

Mabel let out a small chuckle, her hands gripping the steering wheel loosening up a little. "Of course, silly. First time we were coming here we were _forced_ to do so. Parents and all." A small breath left her parted lips as she let out a content sigh, brown doe eyes fixated on the road. "But now we're adults and we can do whatever we want! Yay for adulthood!"

Dipper's mouth turned into a small smile, his twinkling eyes gazing at his sister. He missed this. Just him and Mabel, goofing off, despite their age. He missed Gravity Falls and everyone there. Stan, Ford, Soos, Wendy...

Six years. Six whole years since the last time they visited this beloved but creepy town of Oregon. Weirdmaggedon didn't leave the place with no scratches, same thing with people, but everyone seemed to just... Go with it. They knew it happened, not like you could forget, but they just acted like it was all some fucked up dream. A weird fragment of their imaginations.

But Dipper wasn't the one to let it go that easily. He knew Bill couldn't be so easily defeated, and he knew there are other things that might ruin the peace of Gravity Falls once more. He knew no one was safe here, and never will be. How on Earth can you be safe in a town full of anomalies anyway? The guy above only knows what kind of things roam around the place, that is, if he exists. Dipper didn't bother to even think about that.

"Bro? Are you thinking about Bill and all of that again? You're spacing out.", Mabel spoke softly, a small frown playing on her lips. She placed a hand on Dipper's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "You promised you wouldn't do that anymore. Weirdmaggedon is done and Bill is gone, Dipper. It has been six years, you need to move on. I'm worried about you, how this has been affecting you and..." She slowed down the car, her eyes wandering off the road for a second. "You need to let it go. For everyone's sake, Dipper."

The brunet placed his own hand on top of hers, squeezing it back. "I'm sorry I worried you, Mabel, I'm fine. I'm just thinking about what should we do this summer. I want adventures and I want to live our first summer here all over again, with no Weirdmaggedon and Bill and all that crap. We're gonna have the best summer of our lives."

"That's the spirit!", she whooped, nudging her brother gently. Dipper let out a laugh, his mind finally clearing from all the frantic thoughts. Mabel was right. He needs to let it go. Think about right now, and right now he needs fun and adventure. Not brainstorming about what happened a long time ago and is very unlikely to happen ever again. Weirdmaggedon was done and over. No more monsters, no more demons, no more evil. Just him, the people he loves, and a sleepy town. This summer will be amazing.

The warm breeze distracted him again as it made the brown locks stick to his forehead, a bit of his birthmark went exposed. He smiled to himself, he was really beginning to accept the fact he has a constellation on his forehead instead of how he used to hate it. Besides, Mabel said it was beautiful, Wendy said it's cool and it was where his nickname came from. He had nothing to be ashamed of. 

Glacing up to the sky, he stared at the mixing colors of the sunset. From bright yellows to the softest of blues, the sight was breathtaking. Examining the skyscape, an idea popped up in his mind.

"Mabel, do you want to go stargazing with me tonight? Like, into the woods? The weather is really nice and there was supposed to be a meteor shower, you know I couldn't miss that for the world.", he spoke with the excitement level of a little kid going to a park for the first time, and his sister laughed at him a little for it.

"Knock yourself out, Dip. I'm meeting with Candy and Grenda. Appearantly Grenda just got back from her trip to Austria to visit her rich boyfriend, and Candy has a lot of stuff to talk about from when she was visiting her grandma in this really weird called town. She said she keeps forgetting it too, so don't blame me.", she chuckled, the skin around her eyes wrinkling as she smiled.

"And what about Pacifica?"

"Mm? You said something?", her laughter was quick to fade out and her cheeks flushed, small plotches of pink forming on her face.

Dipper grinned slyly, happy he had taken a chance to finally be the one teasing and not being teased. "Don't act like you haven't heard me. I asked about Pacifica. You know, Pacifica Northwest? That blonde girl you have been drooling over since like, the beginning?"

Mabel smacked him upside the back of his head, almost as if she was offended by his questions. "I don't like Pacifica! She's cute and all, but I don't like her!" She scrunched her nose, putting her hand back on the steering wheel. "Besides, she would never like me back."

The male twin let out a "pshh" sound through his teeth, tilting his head at his sister. "Don't be ridiculous.She would be honoured to know you like her. You're amazing, Mabes! Anyone would be happy to be with you." 

"Aw, bro bro! I'll give you a sincere sibling hug as soon as we're out of this dump.", she squealed, smiling. Kicking the gas pedal, the car jerked forward, making Dipper flinch. " Told you to keep your feet off the dashboard and put the seatbelt on but noooooo! _Don't worry Mabel, nothing will happen. Don't worry Mabel I'll be fine._ That was your own fault.", she repeated the words he had said before in a mocking voice, although her face was serious. Groaning, Dipper put down his legs and fasted his seatbelt, turning his attention back to the nature of Gravity Falls rather than his annoyed, and possibly angry twin sister.

The summer air was filling up his lungs, a soft chirping of birds could be heard somewhere in the distance and everything felt right and perfect with the world.

Actually, that was an overstatement.

Nothing was right and nothing was perfect. Everything was full of crap, but Dipper just liked to sugarcoat it. 

He glanced around, his eyes following the line of trees as the car moved. They have passed the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign only a few minutes ago and it still hasn't left Dipper's mind. They really were back.

The thing was, he was the only reason for this trip. Sure, Mabel missed their friends, and sure, both of them missed their grunkles and Soos and Wendy and everyone but, that wasn't the real reason that they packed their suitcases at the very beginning of the summer and decided, _hey, let's go take a trip to that town that probably scarred us for life!_  The reason was Dipper himself.

You could only imagine what surviving the damn apocalypse does to a child's brain. The nightmares, the everyday terrors, the panic attacks... The twin's parents did everything they could to help their son, but it all got thrown out of the window. After six years of pointless trying, they decided to, well, fight fire with more fire.

Mabel was skeptical about the whole idea, but after some serious talking, she decided she's ready to do anything to make her brother feel better. Even though coming back is going to be a stressful experience after everything that happened, Dipper was worth it.

"Hey bro? You zoned out again." Mabel was suddenly by his right side, waving her hand in front of his face with a worried look on hers. "We're here.", she said softly, as if she was scared someone will hear.

Dipper blinked a few times, snapping from his previous trance. Looking around he realised they were, in fact, in front of the Mystery Shack. A slight smile played on his lips as he stepped out of the car, some leaves crunching under his feet. He looked up to see the S of the Shack was still missing, and the building itself looked exactly like he remembered it.

"So why are we waiting? The sooner this summer starts, the better! We have so much time to do whatever we want, and I'm not wasting any of it! Come on, Mabel! Let's go say hi to Stan and Ford!" He tugged Mabel's sleeve as the girl seemed to get lost in her thoughts as well. Being back was a lot to take in.

She turned to him with a frown. "Dipper...", she started silently, her voice barley above a whisper, "Stan and Ford are still on Stan-O-War. They couldn't make it, but I'm sure they'll be back by the time we have to leave!" Her lips turned into a smile, and even though she really tried to hide it, Dipper could see the sadness and disappointment behind it.

"Oh... That's okay. Let's go say hi to Soos and Melody then-"

"They're on vacation. For a month. In Japan.", she whispered, even more silent than she was the first time. "With their 3 year old son..."

Dipper gulped down a lump in his throat. "Wendy?"

"Vacation with her new boyfriend. She'll be back in three weeks but then she's going for a hunting trip with her family." The brunette put a hand on her brother's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze once again. "I'm sorry, Dip."

The male twin took in a deep breath, throwing on a fake smile. "No, no! It's okay! Let's go get settled then. I need to get ready for my planned walk to the forest tonight." He scrunched up his nose in distaste. "I also need a shower. I smell like sweat and dirt."

At that, Waddles let out an audible oink as he jumped outside from the backseat. He wandered off to Gompers who was playing with a tin can in the distance, trotting happily towards his companion.

"Oh my gosh, Waddles! Look, that's adorable!" Mabel pointed to the pig and the goat, now cuddled up next to eachother in the grass. "No funny business you two! You're not pigs!" She worried her lip between her teeth in thought. "Or, well, at least one of you isn't! I'm counting on you, Gompers!"

Dipper let out a chuckle, entertained by his sister's childish behavior. He pulled out an old hat from the trunk, the one Wendy gave him, and put it on his head. Tucking some hairs behind, he looked at himself in the review mirror. Just like the first time. Just like nothing changed.

_Gravity Falls, your second chance to give us the best summer ever. Show me what you got._


	2. We'll Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One mistake is all it takes for everything to start crumbling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warnings; mentions of past self harm

_Bring me out_

_Come and find me in the dark now_

_Everyday by myself, I'm breaking down_

_I don't wanna fight alone anymore_

_Bring me out_

_From the prison of my own pride_

_My god, I need a hope I can't deny_

_In the end I'm realizing I was_

_Never meant to fight on my own_

**_On My Own || Ashes Remain_ **

* * *

After the twins moved in all the stuff from their trunk and everything was settled in, Dipper was the first one to call dibs on the shower. Mabel groaned in return, but let it be, considering she had other things to do before Candy and Grenda come to visit. Waddles happily roamed the whole house, every five minutes his oinks could be heard from the different part of the den. Gompers sadly had to be left outside, which the goat didn't seem to mind as she peacefully continued to play with her tin can.

Mabel was splayed out on the old couch in the living room, watching the new episode of Ducktective as a way to pass time while her brother was taking _way too long_ in the bathroom. She was already ready to get up on her feet and go knock on the bathroom door as she heard soft creaking and steps coming down the stairs. In the hallway, Dipper stood in his full glory, hair plastered to his forehead, shirt around his shoulders and a towel around his waist.

"There's no more hot water. Enjoy your cold shower, because I sure didn't enjoy mine. Yuck. The cold water at the end ruined it all.", he complained, rubbing at his eyes. Mabel examined the dark circles underneath, frowning slightly.

"Do you _really_  have to go stargazing tonight? Dip you look really tired, I'm worried...", she wrapped her arm around her chest in a sloppy hug, scratching a nonexistent itch on her forearm.

Dipper shook his head at her words, brown curls bouncing up and down at the movement. "Yes, Mabel, I have to go. This is one of the rare chances to see a meteor shower. And I bet it looks a hundred times better, considering Gravity Falls is, well, what it is...", he sighed, his shoulders slumping down slightly. "And don't be worried, I'm fine. I promise."

"D-dipper.", the brunette stammered, before she clamped a hand over her mouth to stop the sobs trying to escape. Tears formed in the corners of her soft, saddened eyes which were glued to Dipper's... Stomach? 

No. _Arms._

The boy glanced down at himself with confusion, before catching a glimpse of his wrists. Scars, ugly, disgusting scars. He let out a soft sigh, wiping his eyes to stop his own tears from running down. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he stared down at his hands with a blank expression on his face, not daring to look up and face his sister. _I'm so sorry,_ he thought. _You weren't supposed to find out._

As if she read his mind, she took a step closer and parted her mouth before closing it back shut. Dipper could only imagine what was going through her head as he frowned at how obviously hesitant and shocked she was. She kept opening and closing her mouth as if she tried to say something but the words got stuck in her throat, or something was preventing her from.speaking. The brunet shifted uncomfortably, waiting for his sister to say something, _anything._ The silence that fell over the pair was driving him insane, the quiet Mabel wasn't the one he liked.

"Since when?", she breathed, lifting her stare to look him right in his eyes. She looked downright exhausted, and Dipper was scared if she doesn't sit down soon she would faint. 

"I'll tell you everything, Mabel, j-just please sit down. I'll go get dressed and then we'll talk.", he stammered silently, his voice breaking at a few points during the sentence. 

Silence. Nothing but fucking _silence._

"M-Mabel are you going to talk to me?", Dipper stage whispered as he took a step closer to his sister who was standing still as a statue in the empty hallway. The brunet pursed his lips as his eyes began to burn, his own tears now spilling and trickling down his pale cheeks.

"J-just answer me.", she demanded, her voice raising towards the end. Her fists were clenched by her sides, her nails engraving deep "U" shaped indents into her palms. "I don't want excuses, I want answers.", she spoke through broken sobs, her whole body shaking.

"I-", Dipper whimpered, gluing his eyes shut in an attempt to calm his racing thoughts and stop the tears spilling from his eyes. "Fourteen. I was fourteen. I grew more into it with time a-and I've been clean for t-two weeks. I'm s-sorry." 

Mabel took in a deep breath, wiping her tears away. "It's okay. Just next time-" , she unclenched her fists, her eyes dropping to the floor, "Next time tell me about things like this, Dipper. I don't want you to hurt yourself and I k-know it's hard and... Just, just _don't._ Please. No more. Promise me, Dipper. Please promise me you won't hurt yourself ever again. I don't know w-what would I do if something happened to you. I can't imagine life without you, Dip, you're my brother and I love y-you, please don't leave me."

Dipper rushed forward, pulling the crying girl into a bone crushing hug. He pat her back, although it was nothing like their usual sibling hug, this one meant a lot more. "I won't, Mabel. I'd never leave you. I promise." They pulled away slowly and hesitantly, Mabel wiping her face once more with a sad, small smile. Dipper smiled back, the skin around his eyes wrinkling slightly.

"You patted me. Pat pat. Awkward sibling hug.", Mabel whispered, the statement followed by a small chuckle. It seemed almost forced, but Dipper wasn't expecting her to genuinely laugh after everything either. He let out a snort, nudging his sister slightly at what she punched his bare shoulder, only then realising the boy was still half naked. "Go get dressed, you idiot. You'll get a cold. Plus, Candy and Grenda will be here any minute."

"I'm going, I'm going!", he yelled, running up the staircase with laughter. He could hear Mabel's cackling and he smiled, glad she didn't hold onto his "self harm things" too tight. After all, it was in the past. The only thing that matters now is having fun and going on adventures. Making this the best summer ever and getting rid of the bad memories, one by one. The first memory being the one of Bill Cipher, of which will Dipper take care of as soon as possible. And that's _tonight._

* * *

Dipper glanced at his wrist watch as he walked in the forest, tightly gripping the flashlight in his other hand. The moon was out and the sky was pretty clear, all he had to do was find a nice clearing to settle on before the meteor shower starts. He has about...Thirteen minutes.

He tightened the grip on his backpack strap, his knuckles turning white. The light of the flashlight started to dim out, occasionally flickering and leaving Dipper in the pitch dark, aside from a little bit of moonlight. He assumed he was somewhere in the deeper part of the woods, considering the trees were allocated more thickly. 

After about three minutes of walking, his flaslight flickered for the last time and did not turn back on. He punched it a bit, giving it a light shake, but no avail.

 _Great. Just amazing,_ he thought bitterly, scrunching up his nose and narrowing his eyes in an attempt to see better. It... Didn't work.

He trotted forward carefully, step by step. In a glorious moment of inadvertency, the top of his shoe hit something hard, possibly a stone or a branch, making him lose his balance and trip forward. He clinged onto thin air before his right hand caught onto something cold, gripping onto it to stop him from falling.

He recollected himself and fixed his composure, dusting off his shirt and pants. That was a close call. He let go of a cold surface, probably a stone, which was shaped almost exactly like some sort of a really small hand. 

Dipper hoped he could try and find it again as he flayed his arms in front of him, but thankfully, that "arm" made his job easier. It glowed a bright gold, starting from the "fingerprints" then further down the arm, and then came the....

Bill's statue?

The brunet stepped back, shaking his head violently. _No no no, this is just a dream, wake up._ The whole statue turned gold, blinding Dipper in bright light that made him close his eyes shut. He fell backwards this time, putting a hand over his eyes to stop the light from blinding him.

A hearty laughter could be heard, and Dipper could have sworn to the guy above he has heard it before. He didn't want to assume, but, his brain was thinking of the worst. After the light sustained, he let his eyes flutter open, blinking a few times to adjust to the sudden light. The whole damn forest was pitch black dark, except a small circle right around Bill's statue. And some blond guy.

_Oh no._

The unknown man was wearing black slacks and a white shirt, topped by a black trench coat and a yellow bowtie. His hair was golden blond, shaggy and messy as if someone had run their hands through it. When his eyes opened, Dipper couldn't help but stare at the two honey dipped irises. The brunet was stunned, but in the same time, confused.

He opened his mouth to ask something, but couldn't come up with _what_ to ask. The other grinned slyly, almost as if he was glad Dipper didn't speak because he wanted to.

"Don't worry, Pine Tree. I'll be out of here once the big guy comes. Make sure you don't stare too long, you'll hurt your eyes."

A sudden wind blowed harshly, almost making Dipper laugh at how _dramatic_ all of this was. It was ridiculous to think someone would go so far for a dumb prank. It was probably Mabel's way to try to cheer him up.

The stranger huffed and rolled his eyes, looking fairly annoyed. He ran a hand thorough his hair, lazily crisscrossing his legs. "He always has to make everything so extra. Yeesh.", he ranted, flailing his arms around like a kid throwing a tantrum, " Like, we get it. You're really powerful _woo hoo,_ good for you. Why make such a big deal out of it? I was powerful and mighty too before _you-",_ he pointed to Dipper, the motion making the brunet flinch at the sudden interaction, "-happened. If it wasn't for you and your stupid friends and family, I would have your whole dimension for myself by this point. How much time did it pass, anyway?", he scrunched his nose in thought, letting out a sharp breath, "Meh, don't care either way. Big guy will be here soon to explain everything." He finally got up, stuffing his hands into his pockets and walking to the edge of the 'light circle". "I'm not the one to hold grudges, so let's have a small talk, yeah? So how has life been treating you, Pine Tree? Everything good?"

Dipper's mouth hung agape as his eyes widened. So the guy standing in front of him really was Bill Cipher. "Who are you possessing this time? And didn't we defeat you?", he said, a bit louder then he had intended. "Who's this big guy you're talking about? And why can't you leave this circle? Can I come in? Your face looks really punchable. And for a demon-"

"Ex demon.", Bill corrected matter of factly.

"W-what? What do you mean?", Dipper whispered, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. "I don't understand."

"What's there not to understand, kid? You're the smartest one out of all the Pines.", the blond frowned, looking down at his feet. "That is, if you exclude Poindexter. But I like you more, so I'll give you that."

The wind grew stronger and stronger, until Dipper was barely standing on his feet while the other seemed unfazed. A bunch of leaves picked up from the ground nearby the pair, swaying in the strong wind as it formed almost like a small hurricane. Suddenly, the blowing of the wind came to abrupt stop, the space where the leaves once were now replaced by... A creature?

Dipper didn't know what it was at first, but after taking a better look at it, he realised he had seen it before.

Of course. It was Axolotl.

Bill extended his arm with a scowl, vaguely gesturing to the creature. "That's... Big guy. Axolotl. I'm pretty sure you've met already, but just in case your poor human brain forgot."

"Silence!", it roared, the word sending shivers down Dipper's spine. "Bill, you have no word in this. Be quiet while I explain to this poor boy what he just had got himself into. And since you obviously have to be reminded, remember now you're human as well." It turned to Dipper which helped the boy examine it a little better. "Dipper Pines. We meet again. I'm seeing you're fairly tired and confused so let's make this quick, shall we?"

Dipper nodded eagerly, desperate to know what this whole thing was about. Thinking about it was driving him insane.

"So I hope you remember that little poem I've told you when you asked me about Bill on our first encounter. Just like I said, he had to invoke my name to shrink the blame, which he did. I stripped him of his demon abilities and gave him a human body, created just for him. He had spent all this time in a bubble, only now released, by you, which, I'm guessing, you did not mean to do. Thanks to your little accident, you have bonded yourself to an ex demon and are going to spend the rest of your life with him." Bill snickered, at what Axolotl did not react, pressing on. "Some of the bond's antics are things like if one side gets hurt, so does the other, you can't leave too far from eachother and so on. I'd suggest you keep yourself from jumping to eachother's throats and try to actually get along. It could be of very good use for both of you." Dipper blinked, wanting to throw in a question but seeing that the creature had more to say.

"Nonetheless, it doesn't have to be like that forever. You are able to break the bond with only one simple gesture - finding true happiness within eachother." A small book appeared in front of Dipper, covered with yellow leather and black lettering. "Those are the instructions, informations about the bond and how to break it, and other things. Now if you could pardon me, dimension 63 needs me. I'll drop by sometime later to see how are you two coping with this. Until next time!"

And he was gone.

The light circle disappeared, freeing Bill from his temporary prison. He stepped a bit closer, looking down at the book with a grimace. "So, we're stuck?"

"Yup."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading, kudos and comments are very appreciated :)
> 
> P.S. excuse any mistakes I've made, I don't even really like this chapter, it felt rushed and just dunno. The next one is a lot better though.
> 
> I was so insecure and nervous about posting this, considering the first chapter got no feedback and I was 99% ready to just give up on it and delete it but, here I am! Hopefully it goes on.
> 
>  
> 
> SLQH WUHH, BRX FDQ WUXVW KLP WKLV WLPH


	3. Starting Over, Starting Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're sorry. I _know,_ you've said it before. I just doubt you mean it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst?
> 
> Angst.

_I don't know where you're going,_

_But do you got room for one more troubled soul?_

_I don't know where I'm going,_

_But I don't think I'm coming home._

_And I said, I'll check in tomorrow If I don't wake up dead,_

_This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end._

**_Alone Together || Fall Out Boy_  **

* * *

 

"Who guaranteed us that "big guy" isn't a liar? We need to test this bond thing. No offense, even though you're human now and can't do no harm, I still don't like you. Like, at all. I despise you. I definitely don't want to spend the rest of my life bonded-", Dipper scrunched his nose in distaste at the thought, "-to you."

Bill pinched his forearm and Dipper flinched at the sudden pain surging through the skin, giving the other a death glare. "Okay, so it's real."

"Clear as a bell! Also, yeesh, kid, you just can't leave the past in the past huh? So what if I tried to rule your dimension fifteen years ago! Been there, done that. It didn't harm anyone, now, did it?", the blond questioned, walking in circles around Dipper while the brunet was sitting down and examining the book. He had tried to find anything about other ways of breaking a bond between two people, or in this case, a human and an ex demon, but no luck. At Bill's words he frowned, thinking about earlier with Mabel.

"It did harm someone, you asshole. It harmed _me._ Six years ago I survived an apocalypse as barely a teenager. You think that didn't fuck me up? In more ways than one?", he laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "You think I was just _fine_ after everything? Guess what, _I was fucking not._ I'm still not fucking fine. The only thing keeping me from killing you right now and right here is the fact that it would kill me. We are going to work together to get rid of this bond bullshit, and you're going to give it your fucking _best,_ you hear me? That's the least you could do, jerk." He flipped the page of the book angrily, the paper almost ripping. "Also, seriously? You still don't get time? Weirdmaggedon was six years ago, not fifteen. I was twelve at the time, turning thirteen, and now I'm eighteen and-", he tightened his hands around the book ends, his knuckles turning white, "Why am I even saying any of this? You don't care. Why would you care?"

Bill stopped walking, staring down at the other with a blank expression. He hadn't expected Dipper to blow up like that, obviously surprised by the boy's reaction. He sighed, sitting down next to Dipper with crossed legs, at what the brunet flinched, scooting further away. The blond frowned, staring at his hands as if he's examining bacteria in a lab. "I- sorry.", he choked out, his voice barely above a whisper.

Dipper blinked, raising his head to look at the man next to him. He worried his lip between his teeth as a nervous tick, almost breaking the skin there. "You have human feelings now, right?" Bill nodded slowly, not taking his stare off of his own hands. Dipper nodded back once, glacing down at the book in his lap.

"Sorry."

Bill's head whipped up, his blond curls bouncing up at the jerk of his head. "What? Why?", he breathed, cocking an eyebrow at the boy next to him.

"You have feelings too. And feelings get hurt easily. I shouldn't have lashed out like that, so I said sorry. What you did was the absolute worst and I'll never forgive you but, right now... We have to work together. And we aren't getting anywhere with fighting.", Dipper sniffled, wiping his nose away with the sleeve of his jacket, then grimacing at his own gross gesture.

"Oh.", was all that Bill said, turning back to his previous hobby of examining his fingers. "You should go home. You'll get sick.", he scrambled up to his feet with a grunt, "I have to go find a nice clearing or something."

Dipper pulled the blond by his sleeve, making him fall backwards with an "oof", a small snort escaping the other's lips. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm pretty sure Mabel is on a sleepover so you can sleep in her bed, besides, you can't really leave me either...", he blushed slightly at his own words, stammering, " B-because of the bond, I mean. Man, that sounded wrong."

Bill let out a soft chuckle, and something warmed in Dipper's chest. He looked so human, it was mind baffling. He couldn't believe that boy laughing in front of him once terrorized his whole family and the town of Gravity Falls, etched fear into everyone's skin and brought him nothing but pain. That exact thought made him snap out of his friendliness.

"Well, then, we should get going. I missed a meteor shower thanks to you.", he let out a halfhearted yawn, his eyes tearing up a little. "Plus, I'm super tired. It's what, like, one in the morning? I'm definitely sleeping in."

Bill cackled lightly, "I don't think I'll sleep after-", he gestured vaguely with a sigh, "-yeah. It's a lot to take in."

"Agreed.", Dipper nodded, hastily getting up onto his feet and waiting for the other to do the same. He extended a hand to the blond, and the other took it with a bit of hesitation, surprised by the gesture. Bill murmured a small "thanks", his tanned cheeks now dusted over with a light pink color.

Dipper reached for his backpack to put the book in, but flinched when something got in the way. He grabbed the thing, fidgeting with it a bit before finding a switch that turned on a...Flashlight? A new, unused flashlight?

_You've got to be fucking kidding me,_ he thought bitterly, staring at the item with rage as if it's going to turn back and undo what had happened. He glanced at Bill who was covering his eyes with his hand, obviously annoyed by the light. The brunet snickered slyly, putting his backpack over his shoulder and stomping forward.

The walk to the shack was silent, but comfortable. Dipper went over everything he had read in his head, and he would have continued it during the whole trip if his head hadn't started to hurt from all the brainstorming. He managed to analyze a few things and remembering them could be of very good use.

Of course, the first and the worst thing you could do to punish a demon is to strip him of his powers. That was a terrible punishment on its own, but putting an ex demon into a human body and bonding him? Even worse.

Having to experience all the human emotions and feelings, having to show love and care and empathy, having to do everything a normal human would do... Not too appealing to demons. Of course, they were the creatures of darkness and horror and what not, and forcing them to act human does not only lower their pride a few pegs, it literally shows them what the people they torture have to go through.

Dipper had also read about having to share feelings with whoever you're bonded with, which could make sense, considering they share pain and/or even death. At the beginning, telling apart your own emotions and the other's emotions could be hard and almost impossible, but as you come closer together, you learn how to tell the difference.

It will sure take both of them a lot of time to adjust to this new bond thing, but Dipper trusted Bill to make it professional, no messing around. Their only goal right now was to break the connection, and they could only do it together. As a team.

The shack came into Dipper's range of sight and it looked so weird with no lights, no sounds coming from the inside, no tourists roaming around... It looked empty and sad, creepy even. It definitely had a "haunted tourist trap" vibe.

As they reached the front porch, Bill stood back to examine the shack, his eyes roaming from the top to the bottom, then locking with Dipper's. The brunet held open the door from the inside, jerking his head back as a sign for the other to come in. Bill hesitantly stepped closer before coming in, almost tripping over the doorstep.

The brunet slowly climbed up a few steps to the attic, turning around to see if Bill was following him. The blond, on the other hand, just stood there as he looked from left the right, taking in his new surroundings.

"Bill-", Dipper sighed, almost inaudibly, "-come on. My- I mean -our room is this way. On the attic."

The blond glanced up to him with those damn golden eyes that literally glowed, tiredness obvious on his face. He yawned a little, running a hand through his messy locks as his shoulders slumped down. "Mm. M'coming.", he slurred, walking forwards as precisely as a drunk toddler.

Dipper groaned at how slow the other was, pacing upstairs to get to his room. He locked the door behind himself, reaching for the left side of his and Mabel's closet to find his pajamas. He stripped himself of the way-too-tight jeans and a (now extremely sweaty) hoodie. Why would he think it'll be cold in the first place?

Unlocking the door with a soft "click", Dipper let the other boy in. He sat down onto his bed, watching to see what the blond will do. And... He did nothing.

Dipper rubbed at his eyes tiredly, "You don't have-", he began, but stopped with a snort, "-right. Of course you don't have pajamas."

Bill shot him an eyebrow as he sat down on the other bed, fidgeting with the ends of his coat, "No, I don't have pajamas. Or whatever. I just got-", he gestured to himself with both of his arms, "-this."

Dipper groaned, taking out a new pair of his pajamas from the wardrobe. Baby blue pajama pants and a baby blue long sleeved shirt. He threw the clothes on the other's head, earning a snort from the boy. Dipper trotted back to his bed, slumping down on it and throwing the bedsheet over his head.

After about a minute of shuffling, the blond let out an awkward cough, followed by calling the other's name. Dipper turned around to see Bill in his pajamas that were way too small for him. The pants barely reached his ankle, and the shirt was too short, revealing a bit of his abdomen and his forearms.

The brunet couldn't help but laugh at the sight, "You look _ridiculous."_

Bill gave a small smile as he let out a chuckle himself, before his face turned serious. "I look ridiculously _good."_ He placed both his hands on his hips, doing a full turn for Dipper to get "a better view".

Their laughter faded out, Dipper was now already settled back into his bed, his bedsheets covering everything up to his chin. Bill found himself comfortable in Mabel's bed, rolling his eyes at how obnoxiously bright and pink her bedsheets were.

"Goodnight, Bill."

The blond turned around so he was facing Dipper, although the other couldn't see that, considering he was facing the wall. Clenching his (Mabel's) bedsheets closer to his chest, he let out a hearty yawn before murmuring a "goodnight" back to Dipper.

Both of them were fast asleep, pushing their problems away. Those were to be dealt with tomorrow.

-

Chaos.

The whole town burning, all the buildings ruined, as if someone set an explosive and blew up the whole place.

Close enough, it was the apocalypse.

Mabel was gone. Everyone Dipper knew was gone. He had no idea if any of them were even alive, for all he knew, all of his friends and family could be dead, maybe even all the citizens of Gravity Falls. Maybe Dipper was the last person alive

The sky was a sickening mix of colors, and it the middle of it, stood a giant, floating pyramid. Dipper examined the thing carefully, as if only looking at it will start something chaotic.

The thing was so high up in the sky, the only possible way of getting to it was flying. And that... Dipper couldn't do.

He could have sworn he heard a distant shriek of horror, accompanied by cynical laughter, the one he knew too well.

Glacing back at the pyramid, he noticed a body. Free falling from the sky.

A tiny girl flailed her arms around as if it'll help anything, her long brown hair flying upwards as she screamed and cried, until finally shutting up and accepting her fate.

Dipper froze, his whole body going numb as he stapled his eyes to the sky.

_Mabel._

-

Dipper sat up abruptly, his whole body jerking forward. His breath hitched in his throat as big, crocodile tears began to stream down his face. Looking to his left for his sister, he had realised he was dreaming but... If that was a dream, where was Mabel?

The shuffling and the sobs woke Bill up (living by yourself in a bubble with no one to bother you while you sleep means you get used to eternal silence while you're in your sweet slumber, so it's not a big surprise the ex demon was a light sleeper) and he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He noticed the crying boy in the bed next to him, and he carefully got up and walked towards him, hesitant about his actions.

"Dipper? Are you okay?", he breathed, hunching over to look at the other. He put a hand on the brunet's shoulder, at what the other did not flinch nor push it away. "You had a bad dream, right? What was it about. I'm sure it wasn't-"

Dipper looked up at him with eyes full of tears, and Bill expected him to have a sad or terrified look on his face, but no. He was glaring at him. A glare that said _"take a fucking guess, asshole"._

"Oh." was all Bill said, swallowing down a lump in his throat before continuing, "Since when?"

Dipper's eyes softened as he dropped his stare from Bill, looking down at his lap. "Since Weirdmaggedon. They stop occasionally, and they change but-", he sniffled, wiping his cheeks with the sleeve of his pajamas, "Someone always dies. Mabel, Stan, Ford, Soos, Wendy...", he licked his lips as a nervous tick as a shaky breath slipped past them, "Me."

"I-"

"You're sorry. I _know,_ you've said it before.", the brunet shot back before the other could even start the sentence, his tone bitter and full of anger, "I just doubt you mean it."

Bill's expression turned blank as he dropped his hand from the other's shoulder, getting up on his feet and returning back to his bed. He laid down, his chest feeling heavy with guilt. He heard the boy shifting in his bed and assuming Dipper went back to sleep, he let his eyes slip shut as well.

"I'm so sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh heck here it is. Waiting a week to post this was nerve wrecking because I just couldn't wait & I was all jittery and excited but woo! Its here!
> 
> I really hoped you liked this chapter and excuse any mistakes and/or errors.
> 
> I wanted to say thank you for all the beautiful support! Really gets me going considering I'm a big ol' pile of insecurity.
> 
> And, of course, thank you for reading! Kudos and comments really appreciated :)
> 
> See you next chapter!


	4. Ever Since We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Dipper have to learn how to work together. Luckily, they have Mabel as their coach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y AY A HAPPY FLUFFY CHAPTER!!!

_How does a heart love_

_If no one has noticed its presence?_

_And where does it go?_

_Trembling hands play my heart like a drum,_

_But the beat's gotten lost in the show._

_You have set your heart on_

_Haunting me forever from the start._

_It's never silent._

**_Nearly Witches || Panic! At The Disco  
_ **

* * *

Second time Dipper woke up, it wasn't because of a nightmare, no. It was a throbbing pain in his head as if someone had hit him with a brick while he was sleeping. He sat up slowly, murmuring a "shut up" to a screaming Mabel.

_Wait. If Mabel is here... Where is Bill?_

His eyes fluttered open to find a really enraged brunette, holding a rolling pin above her head and an "almost passed out" Bill. He scrambled to his feet, almost falling over the bed sheets, as he woozily ran to his sister, snatching the cooking tool from her hands.

"Dipper! What are you doing? There's a stranger sleeping in my bed, for God's sake!", she accused, pointing her thumb to the blond. Bill picked up his head and muttered inaudible words, his eyes fluttering shut and his head falling back as he presumably slipped into a very awaited sleep.

"Let him sleep, sit down.", he ushered his sister to his bed, sitting her down and taking in a deep breath. "Okay, so um... There's no possible way to say this to make it sound normal but uh-", he nudged his head to Bill's direction, fiddling with the ends of his shirt nervously, "That's Bill. As in, Bill Cipher."

Mabel's mouth hung agape as her eyes widened in what seemed to be terror and disbelief. Dipper gave her a reassuring nod. "I'll explain."

"We met that Axolotl guy, I know you remember him because you kept talking about how ridiculous he looks, and when I met him I asked him about Bill. You remember what he said?", she nodded, her eyes glancing behind Dipper at the blond's sleeping form as if she's still trying to convince herself that man sleeping in her bed once terrorized this whole town.

"Well he invoked Axolotl's name and his blame was shrunk. He was stuck in some sort of a bubble, probably something like Mabel land. So, um, he was stuck there until I, uh, tripped and accidentally caught onto the arm of his statue?" It came out more as a question than a statement, as he cringed at how stupid his own words sounded.

"He's human now and he can't do any harm. We're in some type of a bond, and that's why I felt when you-", he slammed the rolling pin against the palm of his other hand, "-yeah. So please, try not to throttle him because it would do the same to me."

Mabel worried her lip between her teeth, taking in all the new information. "So is there some way to break this bond? I don't want you to be stuck with him forever."

Dipper nodded, "Yeah, there is. It's really fucking stupid and I did some research to find another way, but it says nothing about breaking the bond. We have only one way out and it's so fucking ridiculous, I can't believe it. Like, who comes up with this stuff? It's so damn-"

"Dipper.", Mabel argued, her voice stern and serious, "What is it?"

The brunet chewed onto his bottom lip, almost close enough to draw some blood. He scratched a nonexistent itch on his arm, looking everywhere besides his sister. Taking a deep breath, he adjusted his composure to seem more confident. "Finding happiness. Within _each other._ As in, he's supposed to make me happy and I'm supposed to make him happy. Can you believe it? That's total bullshit, right?"

Mabel stared at him before snorting, her lips turning into a smile. "No, bro bro, that makes a lot of sense, actually. You have your-", she looked away from Dipper, seeming almost uncomfortable with the topic. Yesterday's events played in her head as she sniffled, taking in a deep breath to calm down. "You have your problems, Dipper...", she choked out silently, her voice breaking during few points of the sentence. "And Bill has his. Remember that one line from the Axolotl poem? _Says he's happy, he's a liar?",_ she raised her eyebrows in question as she pursed her lips. "I think that's why. You're both really unhappy - because of each other. And now you have to work together to find happiness. It makes perfect sense."

Dipper swallowed dryly, his face blank of expression. Mabel was right.

The mattress of the bed creaking caught the twin's attention, as both of them turned around to see Bill was now awake and really grumpy. He was scowling, holding a hand on the back of his head, presumably where Mabel had hit him while he was asleep. The female twin snorted a little, holding in her giggles.

"Top of the morning to you too, Shooting Star.", he groaned, letting his legs fall over the end of the bed as he sat up. "The rolling pin was a great way to welcome me. This whole experience really knocked me out "

Mabel was now full on laughing, gripping her sides and clenching her stomach. "Ooh, god he k-knows puns!", she choked out between fits of giggles, her eyes beginning to water. "Dipper! You didn't tell me he knew how to make puns!"

The brunet had a slight smile playing on his face, almost laughing at how ridiculous all of this was. "I didn't know! He had no time to make any, we were being serious!"

Bill rubbed at his eyes tiredly, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "The hell is a pun?"

Dipper shot Mabel a stern look, "Don't." Turning back to Bill, he sighed, "Doesn't matter. You should go take a shower and get dressed while Mabel and I figure out what to have for breakfast. Today we're testing how far the bond can go, I'll read out some of the important things from that book and we'll have a serious talk."

Bill raised his hand to his forehead in a mocking salute, "Sir yes sir!"

* * *

  


"Alright. The book says the distance the bond lets us be, varies on our feelings. I'm guessing if I hate your guts, it won't let us go far, and if you're thinking of something depressing, that won't work either. So now we just have to think of things that make us happy. Or in our case, not sad. You're going to go-", Dipper pointed his finger to where the clearing ended and the line of trees started "-all the way there. Don't get lost in the woods. Also, I don't know how this " tugging the bond" thing works, so if it starts to hurt, don't go any further and start walking back if you can. Ready?"

Bill nodded eagerly, eyes glinting with curiosity. He focused on his thoughts now, his brain trying to pull out everything that used to make him happy. Keywords; used to.

Gripping the "talking device" in his hand, he ran forward, soon disappearing behind the line of trees. About ten meters into the woods, his chest began to hurt, he didn't know if it was the bond or did he run too much. He brought the walkie talkie to his mouth, panting out slightly. "I can't move anymore. Not forward, not left, not right, just in the direction I came from.", he swallowed dryly, sighing, "Back to you."

He heard shuffling from the other side, then the other decided to speak, "Yeah, me too. I can only move forward. Towards you." There were a few moments of awkward silence before Dipper decided to break it. "You can come back now. Also, does your chest hurt? Mine stings like a _bitch."_

Bill began walking back slowly, tired from running. "Yeah. I thought it was because I ran so much, but I guess not. Pretty sure the bond does that."

"Oh. Sorry. I'll run for the next test.", some shuffling, then silence again. "Are you walking back? The pain is gone." He picked up his head to see the blond was already in his range of sight, appearing from behind the trees.

Bill sat down on the couch on the front porch, putting his elbow on the armrest and leaning his head on his open palm. He looked at Dipper, clearly amused and glad they're finding out more things about this stupid shit they've gotten themselves into. Or Dipper, to be precise. The brunet was flipping pages in the book as a pen rested in his mouth.

"So? What now?", the blond finally said, breaking the unsettling silence between the two.

"Now we test the distance we get to go when we're sad or angry at each other.", he tapped his cheek with the pen, humming thoughtfully. "Let's try anger first, considering I can get mad at you with no sweat.", his fist clenched as he put the book on the couch, starting to walk away. Just as he reached the tree line, the tug stopped him, urging him to come back to the blond waiting on the porch. Bill was grinning ear to ear, amused by the other's frustration.

Sitting down next to the blond on the couch, Dipper put one leg over the other, placing the book in his lap. Scowling, he angrily listed through some pages before glaring at the man next to him. "Okay, that went worse than the first try. I guess it's turn for sadness now. At least that's easy."

Bill put down his legs on the floor and pushed himself off the couch, but couldn't get up. He groaned, slumping back down. "I can't move."

Dipper let out a mocking snort, setting the book aside once more. "Lazy much? It's not like you ran a marathon." He attempted to get up, but his legs gave out. Something forced him to sit back to his previous position of being right next to Bill, their shoulders and legs brushing slightly.

The blond hummed, enjoying in his small victory. "Lazy much, hm?"

"Shut up."

* * *

  


"Nothing?"

Dipper nodded, pursing his lips, "Nothing. Nothing at all. There's no other way out."

 _"No other way out.",_ Bill repeated in a mocking tone, scrunching his nose slightly. "You're making it sound like we're stuck in a labyrinth."

"Could you stop with the jokes? This is some serious business we're having here. I don't understand how can you joke about this. We're literally stuck together and you're just gonna go around cracking puns about it?", the brunet shook his head, clenching his fists in frustration.

The other groaned, rolling his eyes. "Yeesh, Pine Tree. I just like to look at the good side of things. Maybe you'd be happier if you did the same."

Dipper glared at him, his eyes narrowing with frustration. "You're not happy. I'm not happy. That is the damn _reason_ we're in this bullshit. Stop acting like a child."

"Hey guys.", Mabel walked in with a smile, her long brown hair crumpled up in a messy bun on the top of her head. She glanced to a pissed off looking Dipper, then to a scowling Bill, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. "Uh, what did I miss?" The tension between the boys was so obvious she could cut it with a knife, both of them exchanging glares and mean looks like they're waiting to jump at each other's throats. But Mabel knew they wouldn't. After all, they couldn't even be without each other. The idea of the bond might be stupid to Dipper, but to her, it was a clear proof that some things are just meant to be.

Dipper glanced up at her, then back down at the book, furrowing his eyebrows. "Not much. We're just doing research.", he made a face, giving Bill a stink eye, "At least I am." The blond flinched at those words as he chewed on the inside of his cheek with frustration, not long until the metallic taste filled his mouth. He swallowed it down, running his tongue over the small open wound.

"Oh, okay, I guess?", Mabel shifted awkwardly, sitting down on a chair opposite of her brother. Thinking about what to say around the two was nerve-wracking, she felt as if she says the wrong thing, it'll fuel both of them and make the situation worse. She stared at the knots in the wooden desk aimlessly, her brain clicking and putting things into place. "So I was thinking, Bill doesn't have any clothes, right? He also needs a bed. We should go shopping. We can buy a mattress and-"

"Definitely not.", Dipper bit back, not even raising his glance from the book. "He has Stan's bed, he will sleep in his room. As for his clothes, he can share mine. I'm not buying him new clothes." His tone was bitter and feral, the words spat out as if he was cursing. Mabel, a naturally enthusiastic person, was so damn close to starting an argument with both of them about how utterly idiotic they are acting. Like two kids fighting over a toy.

"We've seen how well they fit me.", Bill snapped, his lips upturned in a snarl.

"Guys! Guys! What the hell is going on? You're acting ridiculous. I thought the whole point of this bond thing was _"don't fight_ and _get along"?_ Isn't that what you're supposed to be doing, not arguing like a bunch of toddlers?", Mabel slammed her hands onto the desk, pushing off the chair and getting up. She stomped her foot, shushing whatever reply Dipper wanted to shoot back, his mouth clamping shut. He had never seen Mabel fume with so much rage, not even after he accidentally ripped her favorite sweater. She was _furious._

"That's it, get up, both of you. We're going shopping and that's the last word, you hear me? If I hear one more snarky comment or see one more scowl, I'm kicking both of you out of the house for tonight. Understood?", she demanded, glaring at her brother, then Bill.

They nodded, lips pressed into a thin line, and eyes shot open. Bill was the first one to jump onto his feet, walking over to the table with a shit eating grin. He stood behind the brunette, flipping the bird to Dipper, at what the other just let out a low growl, unable to say or show anything back with Mabel in front of him.

The girl turned around, not quick enough to see the gesture, nor the shit-eating grin that faded into an innocent smile. She jabbed her thumb to the blond, chuckling. "See? Bill is already up!" Grabbing the keys to her car from the counter, she whistled happily, waving her hand to the boys to follow her.

* * *

  


Mabel made them sit together.

Despite Dipper's call for shotgun, and Bill's demands of "Somebody explain what a shotgun is", she made them sit together in the back seat. For bonding purposes.

Still, Dipper sat pressed into one part of the car and Bill to the other, their noses turned up high and their stares going off somewhere out the window. Neither of them spoke, the rumbling of the car and Mabel singing along to the radio being the only sounds breaking the silence.

"Oh! I love this song!", she squealed, turning up the radio to full volume. Dipper cringed and plugged his ears, while Bill seemed amused by how uncomfortable the noise is making the other. Then he caught a glance of the brunet's trembling body and the uneven way his chest rose, the realization followed by panic washing over him. He spluttered out a "Dipper isn't okay" to Mabel's ear, at what she swerved the car off road, turning off the radio.

She turned to her brother with worry in her eyes, while Bill sat a bit closer to the boy, not daring to say or do anything.

"Dipper, are you okay?"

The voice made the brunet flinch, it wasn't Mabel and it wasn't his therapist. No one else asked him that. It's like no one else cared if he was okay or not. He unplugged his ears, shoving his shaky hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I'm fine. Just got a bit startled, that's all.", he murmured, knitting his bottom lip between his teeth.

The blond sighed as the panic in his chest faded, meaning Dipper had calmed down as well. Mabel nodded, turning on the car again and getting back on the road. Bill gazed at the boy next to him with soft concerned eyes, something about the sight making his heart flutter in his chest.

He looked away when Dipper glanced back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a pri l fo ol s haaaaaaaaaa!1!!11!1!!!
> 
> okay oKAY LISTEN. I know, I know. Angst. Never enough of it.
> 
> I swear this will have happy moments just hOLD ON. pls.
> 
> welpy welp Ive been slacking with updating my other fic (yoyo if you wanna know when I update nd stuff OR you wanna talk to me (doubt, dont do it, Im awkward) then check out my tumblr dysfunctonal *wink wonk*) + Im having family problems so,, errr,,,,, dunno how Ill be with them updates and writing in general. I aM sO sOrrY.
> 
> Anyyyywaaaay,, hope you liked this chapter! Excuse any erorrs or mistakes I've made + kudos and comments vv much appreciated.
> 
> See ya next chapter!


	5. The Kids Aren't Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HENLO!
> 
> Have this angsty bunch with a vv fluffy ending, you're welcome.
> 
> (This is a sorry for tricking you the last time oop)

_There's nothing wrong with just a taste_

_Of what you've paid for..._

_Say what you mean,_

_Tell me I'm right,_

_And let the sun rain down on me._

_Give me a sign,_

_I want to believe._

**_The Ballad Of Mona Lisa II Panic! At The Disco_ **

* * *

"What _do_ you remember?"

Bill scratched the back of his head at that question, eyebrows furrowing in thought. What _did_ he remember? "I remember you guys, your family. I remember some of my past life, all of it mostly connected to you. I know who I was, what I was, what I did... It isn't a lot but-", he gave a weak smile at what Dipper's eyes softened, curiosity replacing the previous anger. "-big guy said I'll come to remember it as I see things or people that trigger the memory. Let's say I see some random guy I've seen in my past life, it'll remind me of everything that has to do with him." He tapped his point finger on his forehead lightly, frowning. "Everything is up there, it just needs to click together."

Dipper stared at the blond, intrigued. It's funny how Bill Cipher, ex-demon and "people hater" is now sitting in front of him, powerless and human. He almost dared to say, _pathetic._

"Why didn't you throw a tantrum or something? Start a riot, demand for a different option? Maybe snap your fingers and do one of your tricks?", Mabel asked with genuine curiosity, and although it sounded like she was mocking him, Dipper knew she didn't mean to.

"You think I haven't tried? I attempted to pop that damned bubble at least three times every day. After about four years in your human world passed, I stopped. I was just wasting energy and risking getting into even more shit than I already was in. Big ol' Axolotl was generous enough to give me this.", he gestured vaguely to himself, referring to his body as a "gift". Which it was, in all honesty. He didn't make it himself.

"Otherwise I'd cease to exist. I'd be a lost soul, worse than a ghost. And after some time I'd just-", he flung open his arms, gesturing something that he intended to represent an explosion, but didn't look much like it. Making a "woosh" sound through pursed lips, he flopped his hands down onto his lap.

"Disappear." Dipper finished for him, at what the blond nodded, his lips now formed into a thin line.

"I know what both of you are probably thinking. _Oh, it would be so much better if he just **died** ",_ he said, stressing the last word for emphasis. "Sometimes I think so too. I just don't see the point. No power, no magic, nothing. No chaos, nothing fun... Plus, I fucked up your lives. And unlike how I enjoyed doing that exact same thing in my past life, now I hate it. I despise having these human feelings and feeling guilty, it's so goddamn tiring."

Dipper shivered at the first part. Did he want Bill dead? Probably. Of course, he can't say that, but, it's true. If he wasn't human and bonded to him, he would probably kill him without thinking. Why would he feel sympathy for someone who ruined so many lives without even flinching?

"So what feelings have you felt so far?", Mabel chimed in, breaking the awkward air between the three with her usual enthusiasm. She was wearing a light smile, despite the seriousness of the situation, just like she always does.

Bill hummed in thought, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "Mostly bad feelings, to be honest. Regret, guilt, sadness, of course... Sometimes I feel empty. Just... Downright numb. It's better than any of those, at least."

Silence.

"That's exactly why I self-harm."

_Silence._

When Dipper processed what he had just said it was too late, the words already slipped past his lips and both Mabel and Bill had heard him. He saw the way Bill's head whipped towards him and how Mabel gripped the steering wheel almost hard enough to break the thing, pressing the brake pedal with a strange outburst of aggressiveness.

"We're here."

Dipper sighed in relief, opening the door and awkwardly scrambling out of the car. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his oversized blue jacket, fidgeting with the item inside one of the pockets.

_Promise me, Dipper. Please promise me you won't hurt yourself ever again._

His mouth twitched.

_I'd never leave you, I promise._

"Bill come on!", Mabel's yelling shook him from his trance, his head whipping up to see a really annoyed Mabel leaning on the car and a ridiculously confused looking Bill. The blond was tangled and seemingly stuck as his seatbelt snaked around his body in a random matter, underneath his leg and twisting around his forearm. He let out a desperate cry before Mabel leaned over and hit the button, releasing the "evil rope designed for making you suffer".

"I can't believe you got yourself tangled in the seatbelt. You're worse than a child!", the brunette lectured, scolding the snickering blond. Dipper joined in on the show, laughing lightly with the other two. The trio slowly walked towards the Gravity Falls Mall, the previous seriousness long gone and forgotten.

* * *

 

"Come on, come out!"

"No! I look ridiculous!"

"Lies! I, myself, chose this outfit for you! It can't be bad, after all, I'm the style goddess.", Mabel squealed, twirling light as a feather on her feet as the clothes in her hands spun around with her. "The one and only! Everything Dipper buys is chosen by me, and Dipper looks great, right?"

Dipper heard the other chuckle in the changing room, followed by a sarcastic scoff of "Sure he does."

"Hey! Considering how much of a great fashion sense I have, I look pretty okay!" Dipper whined, shooting his sister a look, "Mabel, I choose all my clothes for myself. The last thing you told me to buy was a Minnie Mouse hoodie, and you insisted on buying it for me before you saw the price tag. Then, you wanted to steal it, but thank god I'm somewhat sane and talked you out of it."

The blond, again, snickered behind the dark blue curtain of his changing room, making the twins turn their attention back to him. Dipper rolled his eyes in impatience, "That's it, I'm coming in and pulling you out, you better not be naked."

He disappeared behind the same curtain, before coming out while pulling the other by his wrist. Bill glanced at the slight amount of skin that showed because of Dipper's rolled up shirt sleeve, furrowing his eyebrows at the lines spread along it.

"Where did you get that?"

Dipper turned back to him, raising an eyebrow. "Where did I get what?" The other nudged his head towards their hands, Dipper dropping his immediately before reaching to pull his sleeve down. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, running a hand through his hair. _He doesn't understand what self-harm is, does he,_ Dipper thought, then cringed. "Doesn't matter.", he whispered, his breath hitching slightly as Bill's pinkie brushed against the side of his hand. A weird spark of energy spread from the spot through his whole body, making him a bit jittery, but he shrugged it off with a smile. Turning to his sister who was examining some button downs, he put a hand to his mouth. "Hey, Mabel! Come see this!"

The brunette skidded towards the pair, getting a closer look at what she had chosen for Bill to wear. She squealed loudly, walking in circles around the blond to examine him better. Dipper relaxed a bit at the sight, forgetting about the discomfort of the previous situation between him and Bill.

Mabel had forced the blond to look at himself in the mirror, despite his protests of "It won't fix anything, I still look bad." And for his own surprise, once he looked at himself from a new perspective (not the bird perspective of looking down on himself) he had concluded he looks... Pretty decent.

The white washed jeans Mabel chose were just the perfect length (he still couldn't understand how did she guess it) and they were paired with a maroon "Obey" hoodie (It reminded Bill of how powerful he was and how obedient his servants were, and Mabel just wanted to change up the whole yellow vibe).

After deciding he was going to buy that one (a bit cozier) outfit, it was time to go "hunting" for a bit more summery outfits. Meaning short sleeved t-shirts, shorts and things like that.

Sometime during the Bill's "fashion show", Mabel just disappeared. Dipper had noticed it immediately, the lack of comments, the fixing of clothing, the "turn around so I can see you better" demands. Although, somehow, he didn't pay much attention to it. Naturally, he would be worried because it's his sister who's missing, not any other person, but his sister... But despite that, he didn't worry. Knowing Mabel, she was probably off chit chatting with an old friend or looking at clothes, maybe even trying some on for herself.

Dipper examined the outfit Bill had come out with, plain white tank top and navy blue pants shorts that reached his knees. In his hair sat a pair of sunglasses, blue lenses and black frame.

"Where did those come from?", the brunet snorted, cocking an eyebrow.

Bill gave a quick nod so his glasses fell onto his nose, "Doesn't matter, we have to find Mabel." He pushed the sunglasses further up, grinning. "Come on, let's go."

Dipper was pulled (or more exactly, dragged) away by the blond, his legs weakly following, making the brunet almost trip over his own feet. The grip Bill had on his wrist was almost too light to be called a grip, but there was still something about it that made Dipper feel as if his skin was burning underneath the other's fingerprints.

Soon the pair was in a crouching position behind a table with stacked on clothing, Bill's hand was on Dipper's back and he was way too close for Dipper's liking, but yet, still, Dipper's own hand somehow found its way and was now resting on the blond's bent knee. Bill's cheeks puffed out before deflating as he blew out some air. His glasses fell down to his nose again, and Dipper could see the honey dipped eyes that terrified him last night. This time around, it felt more comfortable and he could almost find himself staring into those strange, yet astonishing irises.

"Look.", Bill breathed, the hand on Dipper's back slowly slipping away as he brought it to the floor to balance his weight. The other hand was pointing, somewhere behind the pile of clothing, at something Dipper couldn't see. He tilted his head and squinted, noticing a pair of two girls standing in a nearby aisle. His eyebrows furrowed as he shot Bill a "what?" look, making the other roll his eyes in annoyance. "Isn't it obvious? That's Shooting Star and Blondie. They look so-", he scrunched up his nose in distaste, "-in love."

Dipper gave the pairing a better look, only then noticing the obviously fake blond hair and a slim figure of Pacifica Northwest.

Bill quickly scrambled up to his feet while Dipper was kneeling in his hideout, his eyes following as the blond walked away, making a turn towards the girls. Dipper had to suppress a facepalm.

"Hey girls, whatcha talking about?", Bill waved his hand nonchalantly, yelling in an obnoxiously fake accent. The girls looked at him, and Dipper could see Mabel squint before her eyes went wide as she obviously recognized him.

"That's none of your business.", she clipped through gritted teeth.

"Mabel!", Pacifica's head whipped as she gave the other girl a look. "Don't be rude!", there was a bit of a teasing tone in her voice and a small grin playing on her lips. "We're talking about a party, sweetheart, would you like to come? I'm assuming you're a friend of Mabel's?"

Bill chuckled, pushing his hair back lazily, "Oh, no, honey, I can't make it. But you should invite Mabel, she's free and hasn't gone to any parties in a while."

"That's a lie-"

"That's a great idea!", the blonde squealed, smiling. "Mabel, please come, I'd love to have you at my.party! Plus, I don't have anyone to dance with..." Dipper would have lied if he said he didn't see her blush just slightly.

"It's settled, then! Catch ya later, Blondie, we have some shopping to do!", he grabbed the brunette under her arm, dragging her off to the aisle Dipper was in. In the meanwhile he got up, walking towards the pair.

"What the hell was that?", Mabel quipped, glaring at Bill and then her brother, "Care to explain, Dipper?"

The brunet raised his hands up in defense, "Hey, don't look at me, it was Bill's idea." He pursed his lips, grumbling, "Although, I don't hate him for it. Come on, Mabel, it's obvious you like each other!"

The female twin rolled her eyes, then scoffed, "Fine then, you're coming with me. Both of you." She winked, smirking. "For bonding purposes." Before either one of them could retort, she continued, "That's a demand from your coach."

Bill scoffed, "We don't need a coach, we're doing just fine. Right Pine Tree?"

"Yeah! We're doing great on our own!"

"Oh, please! If it wasn't for me, you'd be fighting with Nerf guns like a bunch of six-year-olds." Her eyes glistened with mischief before she raised a finger matter-of-factly, "Besides, you just shared the same opinion, why? Because I led you to it." She turned on her heel, grabbing Bill's glasses and putting them on. "Now let's go pay for this stuff. And when we come home, we're going to find you two a perfect outfit for the party tomorrow."

The boys let out a groan as they followed behind the lively brunette, a wide smile spread on her lips.

_You'll thank me later. Both of you._

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: I might begin to update irregularly. My mental health has gotten a lot worse, and sometimes I don't even feel like getting out of bed. I am deeply sorry for that, but I hope you can bear with me!
> 
> Scratch that, yO GUYS!!! Stay positive & if youre reading this I hope you had/are having/have a wonderful day! All the love:))
> 
> Excuse any errors and/or mistakes I made! Thank you for reading & let me know if you liked it! Comments and kudos are always appreciated :)


	6. Desperate Measures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just a view on everything from Bills perspective. Some deals were made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not like this at all but bEAR WITH M E. Im getting so insecure about my writing, rip.
> 
> Also sorry for the late update yik es.
> 
> Bill is my bipolar child oWo

_You never act aloud the way you appear,_  
_My every breath awakes alarms in your ears._  
_I'm not confused, it's just you're making me think_  
_Of all our conversations missing their link._  
_I wanna know all the dreams that you keep beneath,_  
_I want the words that you whisper when I'm asleep,_  
_Wanna give back the things that I plan to take,_  
_And I hope that you won't care._

**_Mistakes Like This II Prelow_ **

* * *

 

"If you can't tie your bowtie with _five_ longer human fingers then how the actual hell did you do it in your demon form with those... Those _three_ itty bitty demon fingers of yours?"   
  
Bill smirked, "Simple! I didn't do it! Magic is a great thing, Shooting Star, and I'll tell you - I've never regretted wasting it on things like that! It made me look classy."   
  
Dipper could be heard from the other room, "More like ass-y."   
  
Mabel snorted, tightening the hold on the fabric in her hands, making Bill cough out a choke. She gave him an apologetic smile before doing the last twist, patting the finished bow proudly. She tilted her head, making the brown strands of her hair fall over her eyes (at what she huffed, this time around making Bill snort), smirking. "You look awesome, Billy Boy!"   
  
The blond pouted, "Don't call me that." He then turned to look at himself in the mirror, tugging at the hem of his shirt to straighten it. "A-and thanks. Seriously. You did a great job, Star." _I didn't really need your help except for the bowtie, but thanks anyway. Because politeness is what meat sacks like, right?_ "I look... On point? Is that what you guys say?" _Don't tell me, I don't care. I really don't. Just let me be alone for a while._   
  
Mabel smacked her lips, nodding. "Close enough. You can either say that, or that you look _sharp."_   
  
"Same thing. Points can be sharp." _Just like knives. Oh boy, I used to love those! And oh, couldn't forget forks! Maybe I shouldn't mention that around Pine Tree though..._   
  
Bill's stomach sunk at the thought. He used to be so powerful, almighty and a creature of pure energy with no weaknesses!!! But now he was a meat sack. Just like everyone he's tortured. He had to take care of his body, keep it clean and fed and hydrated and avoid pain - his favourite thing! At least, it used to be.

It's funny, really, how the tables have turned. Bill Cipher as a part of species he found the least interesting (except for Pine Tree) and the least intelligent (Except maybe gnomes? Those suckers are dumb). Stuck in his dumb flesh prison that did absolutely no good. It just made him _feel._

The most annoying thing out of all? Emotions, probably. He can handle being a meat sack, but _feeling?_ Probably his worst nightmare.

Sadness wasn't as overwhelming. It wasn't _good_ by any means, but it just wasn't _the worst._ Except the fact that it bonded him with Dipper - _that_ wasn't too pleasing.

His least favourite emotion was empathy.

Solely because of the awful feeling you get when someone else is feeling awful, the unsettling feeling in your stomach when you realize you've done something to hurt someone, the thought of having to _sympathize_ with someone just… Didn't click too _well_ with him.

But what could he do? It was either that or eventual death, and in his opinion, absolutely nothing is scarier than the fact he could cease to exist.

Yes, Bill Cipher, an all powerful, all mighty ex demon was afraid of death. Something he had pushed a lot of people into. The most common and the scariest fear among the humans - he had it. He was just like any other pathetic fleshbag.

“Bill? You're still looking at yourself? I helped Dipper with his tie and got dressed myself, why are you still standing there, you dummy? We're going to be late, let's get going!”

The blond glanced back at Mabel peeking behind his- or well, _their_ doorframe.

After they came back from the mall, him and the twins checked the room Dipper wanted Bill to settle in (which happened to be Stan’s), they found out that the room was, surprisingly, locked. It made Bill sigh in relief and Dipper groan in annoyance, as well as question just how _secretive_ his grunkle was. But then again, the last time him and Mabel broke into Stan's room they found out his biggest secret, so thinking he _still_ has some secrets is pretty much fairly justified.

So, after that surprising discovery, they (or, well, Mabel) decided Bill will sleep on the mattress in their room. Dipper was _strongly_ against it, but with two votes against one, the majority had won.

Bill did not understand  _what_ was it that made him feel so weird around the kids but he actually kind of… Liked their presence now. It wasn't that he liked  _them_ as meat sacks they are but… It was kind of comforting to be with someone after such a long time spent in loneliness. Even if it's an obnoxious girl that puts glitter in everything and a paranoid boy who can't get his life straight. And just happened to be  _that_ bored he accidentally freed and bonded himself with his worst enemy. That kid seriously has no luck.

Bill didn't like it though. He didn't like depending on two incompetent meat bags just because he's associated with them. He didn't like feeling like he doesn't belong, and seeing all the things the twins do together and how reliant and supportive they are of each other, made his insides hurt. Just a little bit. Because _god damn it_ , he wanted someone to care for him as well!

Pathetic. He became _utterly and disgustingly_ **_pathetic._ **

“Bill? Are you okay?”

The blond cursed under his breath, _“Peachy,_ Star.”

“No you're not. The bond didn't tug for nothing.”

Bills head whipped to see the lively twin was replaced by no other than--”Oh. Pine Tree.”

Dipper's lip curled, “Oh, wow, am I that much of a disappointment?” A light hearted laugh, then: “Dont worry, Im just here to check on you--you tugged while I was brushing my teeth, so I was like “ _hey what's this knucklehead doing now”_ so I came here and-”, he looked at Bill, then frowned. “Whats wrong?”

“Just--just overthinking. Nothing really settled yet so-”, he inspected the imaginary dust under his fingernails, not daring to look at the other. “Yep. Could you call Shooting Star for me? I think my bowtie is too tight. Am I turning blue yet?”

Dipper pursed his lips, “Yeah. Sure. And stop overthinking. It makes everything worse for both of us.” He turned on his heel, then stopped at the door frame. “Oh, and also… Thanks for the thing with Pacifica and Mabel in the mall today. I've been trying to get the two of them together since the first summer here--” He laughed, and Bill couldn't tell if it was one of those fake, _broken_ laughs or a genuine one. “But my sister is a stubborn one. _She would never like me! Did you see her? She's definitely straight!”,_ he mimicked Mabel's voice almost too accurately, making Bill's previous blank expression turn a tiny bit more joyful as his lips turned into a small smile. _Why do I feel so warm? Are those my emotions or his?_

“So yeah. Thanks. Another thing I wanted to talk about is--”, he turned around and Bill looked at him, catching a glimpse of uncertainty in his eyes. Dipper opened his mouth hesitantly, soon closing it as his lips formed a thin line. He sighed.

“Nevermind.”

* * *

 

Bill paced around the room, muttering insults and curses under his breath. His new shoes stomped against the floor, the wood creaking under his feet.

_Stupid kid, stupid Axolotl, stupid me, stupid,_ **_stupid._ **

The kid just _had to_ confuse the everliving _shit_ out of him. _“Don't overthink.”_ he said--then proceeded to baffle the blond with that sudden friendliness… Then that last thing, _what the hell_ was that? “ _Nevermind.”_ You can't just leave a naturally curious person hanging like that! Especially not Bill!

_Alright, alright, deep breaths, deep breaths. That brat will come back soon if I accidentally tug him again. Stupid bond. Stupid Axolotl. Stupid Pine Tree._

A knock on the door. Then: “Can I come in?”

Bill ran a hand through his hair, tugging lightly. He let out a weary sigh, rummaging through his head for an answer. He scratched the back of his neck, settling on a: “Yeah, Star.” _This communicating thing is_ **_draining_ ** _me._

Two dull hazel eyes peeked through a cracked open door. Bill could recognize from the deficiency of that little sparkle and the liveliness, that those eyes, in fact, _once again,_ **_shockingly_ ** _,_ were _not_ owned by the brunette he called out for.

“Dude. You really need to learn the difference between my voice and Mabel's.”

Bill sucked on his teeth silently, “Hello to you _again_ as well, Pine Tree.”

“So I wanted to talk about-”, he nibbled on his bottom lip hesitantly, “-I wanted to talk about… This. Um, I mean, _us._ I have a few things I would like to say…”

The blond laid down on his “bed”, tucking one of his hands underneath his head as it rested on the pillow. His other hand formed a “gun” and he pointed it to Dipper, clicking his tongue as he pulled the “trigger”. He closed his eyes, muttered something inaudible and then sighed. “Shoot, kid.”

Dipper shifted uncomfortably. “Alright. Okay. So, talking.” He walked past the mattress Bill was laying on and sat on his own bed with an _oof._ The other gave him a look through one cracked open eye, cocking an eyebrow. Dipper shrugged nonchalantly, “Thought I would, uh, get comfortable as well. I don't… Speak well in awkward situations. Especially if the topic is… Something I don't usually talk about.”

“No one is forcing you to do this, Pine Tree.”

A beat of silence. Two, three, four, and then:

“But I want to.”

Now Bill was the one shifting, sitting up in his bed as he glanced over to Dipper. The brunet was now laying, mimicking almost the exact same position Bill was in just seconds ago. With his eyes closed he couldn't see the death glares the blond was sending him, and once Bill was aware the other wasn't looking, his mask fell as his eyes turned soft.

Bill Cipher, feeling empathy, guilt, regret and sadness all at once for one meat sack? Was it possible? He didn't really know. He had no clue, actually. He hoped it was just the bond pouring over Dippers feelings in him but… That would mean Pine Tree feels empathy, guilt, regret and sadness… For and/or because of Bill. And that would make no sense because he did nothing wrong.

Bill blinked as his brows furrowed. _Did I just forgive Pine Tree for putting me in that stupid bubble and making me human? Because that sure as hell can't be possible. Him and his family caused me to lose my powers and become a_ **_dumb pathetic mortal-_ **

_But I wanted to_ **_kill_ ** _them. They had to defend themselves, right?_

“Bill, if we're going to be stuck like this for who knows how long, I'd like to get along with you. We don't have to be friends, I mean, that's definitely hard to achieve but… At least not enemies.” The soft voice almost made the blond jump as he quickly brought his stare to anywhere else but the other man, settling on the knots in the wooden wall. Dipper couldn't have seen him though, his eyes were still closed as his chest calmly rose and fell in the rhythm of his words. He licked his lips as a small sigh passed them, his eyes finally fluttering open. He sat up abruptly, crossing his legs.

“Look, I know we've had some…” His lips formed a thin line as he tilted his head, “Okay, a lot of _disagreements_ and such in the past… But since things are how they are, I was wondering if maybe… You would like to start over? Like, with no “possessing my body and using it as a vessel to achieve your mastermind to rule the Earth” and “attempting to kill multiple family members” bullshit? In my opinion, that would benefit you a lot more than me so I'm suggesting you accept it. I would just like to drop the grudges.”

Bill's arm shot forward immediately.

Dipper eyed it with interest before shaking his head. “No, definitely no more deals.”

“First off, kid, I have no powers and this doesn't really mean anything. Second off, if we don't shake on it - it didn't happen.” Bill pushed his arm further, almost prodding at Dippers stomach.

The brunet let out a groan before hesitantly clasping his hand with the others. No blue flames erupted and it was unnerving to shake hands with Bill without causing chaos. The blond grinned widely, his pearly whites flashing at Dipper.

“Always pleasure working with you, Pine Tree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is very vaguely edited lemme cry
> 
> next chapter will be vv extra, have this settle one revolving about Bill & Dips feelings n stuff aaa
> 
> buckle up folks, this is where it gets b a d.
> 
> hope you liked this (even tho its shit) & thank you for reading! Excuse any errors and/or mistakes Ive made.
> 
> Kudos & comments vv appreciated. :)
> 
> See ya next chapter!


	7. All The Words That He Can't Take Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper wanted to yell and scream, and kick that stupid branch or whatever it was that made him trip, then kick himself for grabbing onto that stupid hand of that stupid statue and not face-planting into the dirt, then kick Bill just for the fun of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ well hello there
> 
> \+ my post-hiatus writing is not good but its not like pre-hiatus writing was so !!
> 
> \+ enjoy trash
> 
> \+ also a ps. Paz did not lose her mansion after Weirdmaggedon. yeet.
> 
> \+ writing scenes with big ol guy Axo is so hard to me for some reason?? lmao.
> 
> \+ is it a happy chapter???? probably not.
> 
> \+ beware; no proof reading was done here. contains lots of mistakes rip

_I can only hope it's true enough_  
That every little thing I do for love  
Redeems me from the moments I deem worthy  
Of the worst things that I've done  
And saves me from myself at times of envy  
When I'm missing everyone.  
If I wake in the morning  
I only need two more miracles to be a saint  
Everything I promised, everyone I'd be  
Well I just ain't.  
Lately it seems like everybody's sick, _everybody's dying_  
Build myself a wall of unhappy hearts  
And only my heart knows my head is lying, lying. 

**_  
Oh Glory II Panic! At The Disco_ **

   


* * *

   


****

After the rather  _ surprising  _ turn of events between him and Bill, Dipper found himself alone in his room, on his bed, aimlessly tapping his feet in a made-up rhythm. The clock was about to tick 8:30 and he now expected Mabel to stomp in any minute. She left with Bill to get “party supplies.” Whatever that meant. Although, Dipper doubted Pacifica of all people would need extra  _ anything.  _ Pacifica Northwest, the richest girl in town? Yeah, no. Definitely sketchy. The duo was planning something, and they were  _ foolish  _ if they thought Dipper wouldn't catch up on it. He just won't bring it up… Until they out themselves. Yeah. Perfect plan.

A clattering sound coming from the bathroom caught his attention. Dippers head snapped up as his tapping came to an abrupt stop. He listened for a few seconds, cautiously trying to catch any other sound. He got up and kicked the mattress slightly as he carefully walked among the small space between his bed and Bill’s mattress. He tiptoed to the bathroom, warily listening for any sounds before hesitantly putting a hand on the doorknob.

He pushed the door and it creaked, which made him put up a mental note to fix the thing. Not a shocker, though, the whole building was pretty damn old. Good thing it hasn't crumbled down to pieces already.

Dippers head peeked from behind the corner of the doorframe. On the tiled floor sat the Axolotl, small and glowing in the middle of a mess that consisted of all kinds of bathroom supplies.

“Uh… Hi?” Dipper started awkwardly, kicking a stranded toilet roll with his foot.

“Oh! Greetings! Dipper, please, accept my deepest apologies. I know you probably thought being the most powerful being to ever exist is a piece of cake, but trust me, it's harder than it sounds. I don't know why I thought your bathroom would be a good place to teleport. Especially in my full size.”

Dipper sighed through his nose, tangling a hand in his brown unruly hair. “It's okay, err, don't worry about it.” He waited for the creature to say something, but sadly, there was nothing but awkward silence that  _ he  _ had to break. “So, uh, should I go get Bill or...?”

“No, no. Definitely not. Bill is a hothead, I need you alone on this. I am more than sure you will approach this level-headed and calm, after all, you  _ are  _ the sane one here.”

Dipper nodded silently, watching as Axolotl put all the items back in their place with his power. It was kind of intriguing to watch a regular bottle of shampoo glow purple and then levitate back to the cupboard where it used to be. And the cupboard opened on its own, too!

After some time -- considering the process was extremely slow -- Dipper began picking things up on his own. His mind wandered off a little, and he did not really pay attention to where he was putting things. All that was on his mind at this moment was  _ what could possibly be something so important for the “Big guy” to drop by, plus, keeping it secret from Bill. And the “level-headed and calm thing? Really?  _ Dipper might not be a freak show like Bill, but he still  _ was  _ an anxiety ridden scaredy cat. At some point the Axolotl began to talk and Dipper was still a bit lost in his own thoughts. 

“...I'm not saying love always leads to happiness. But in your case it's guaranteed! All you have to do is let your heart beat a little faster, your chest feel a little warmer and your mind think little brighter. All of that, you have to do because of him. That's your only cure.”

“Excuse me, what? I wasn't listening, sorry.” Dipper murmured, a bit embarrassed about the whole situation. He took a sharp breath of air, a vague shot at trying to keep his cool.

“I was saying that the best way to break the bond is with love. You should try that, if you still want to break the bond, that is.”

“Oh, okay.” There was a beat of silence, then the hairbrush in Dipper's hands was sent scattering on the tiled floor.

“Wait  _ what?” _

Axolotl picked up the hairbrush and placed it back on the counter, unnerved about Dipper's reaction. “Connect the dots, kid. That's all I have to say. And I suggest not telling Bill about this until you're, well… A bit closer to each other.” Axolotl went silent for just a moment, as if he waited for Dipper to process everything. “You’ll have some help from me, don't worry. But you still have to do all the important work. I wish you all the luck! See you soon, Dipper Pines!”

There was a ‘poof’ and then all that was left in the bathroom was Dipper and a cloud of smoke. 

Dipper wanted to yell and scream, and kick that stupid branch or whatever it was that made him trip, then kick himself for grabbing onto that stupid hand of that stupid statue and not face-planting into the dirt, then kick Bill just for the fun of it.

His shaky hands found the sink and there was a slight squeaky sound as he turned on the tap. The water came running down and he took some into his cupped hands, splashing it onto his face. He picked up a towel to wipe the wet drips on his cheeks and forehead and in the process caught a glance of himself in the mirror.

_ What the fuck have you done? _

  


* * *

  


Bill's head bobbed as the car moved, occasionally hitting the window, causing him to wince and yelp in pain. In the backseat, Dipper was grumbling to himself while Mabel cheerfully sang along to the top 40 list of pop music. Bill scrunched his nose in distaste. Humans had weird music taste.

“What's wrong Dip Dop? You look like someone ruined your science project you've worked for 2 whole nights without sleep, causing in you getting an F and having to do it all over again in an even shorter period of time!” Mabel yelled over the music, smacking her glittery lips.

“Jeez, Mabel, that's an awfully specific situation you just described there. I wonder  _ why.”  _ He quipped, crossing his arms like a child throwing a tantrum. Bill couldn't help but snicker.

“If you could see your face right now you would see why I associated it with that  _ specific  _ moment.” She laughed, tapping her freshly painted, bright pink nails against the steering wheel. A slight glint shone from beneath thick eyelashes and equally bright pink colored eyelids as she sighed under the wave of nostalgia. “Ah… Memories…”

“Hey, Star. You should definitely tell us more about Pine Tree`s childishly embarrassing moments.”

“Bill!”

“What, Pines?” The blond leaned over his seat, turning his whole upper body to look at the snarling boy on the backseat. “Looking back on memories is good for the soul and laughing is good for yourself as a whole! Every single part of your flesh bag and every atom of your spirit enjoys laughing! That's why I used to do it so much!” He mused, giving the brunet a catlike grin. “So, Shooting Star, what are you waiting for? Bring it on, make us all healthy and clean our souls!”

Mabel hummed before clicking her tongue as a satisfied expression flooded over her face. She grinned, turning the volume down-- _ because it was really important for Bill to hear her,  _ Dipper thought.

“Okay, okay I found a good one. So we were in middle school, 8th grade. Dip Dop was a huge nerd and I was a party girl and our personalities didn't really mix until--”, she drawled out the last word for dramatic effect, “--bro bro got invited to a party. By his crush~”

“Mabel!” 

“Can it, macho man!” The female twin countered, shushing the other quickly. Bill watched and laughed, grinning in his sweet victory. 

“So he got like,  _ suuuuper  _ drunk. And guess what! He-” She snickered, holding in a snort. “He threw up on her fucking  _ shoes!” _

Bill fake-gasped, holding a hand against his chest in ‘shock’. “No way!”

Mabel laughed harder (if that was possible) and swerved the car almost too harshly which triggered an instant rush of concern in Dipper. He shifted a bit awkwardly, holding onto the seat belt for his dear life (and simultaneously wondering why the actual  _ hell  _ was he the only person who had his seat belt buckled?)

Bill seemed to notice the tense vibe that radiated off of Dipper. He turned around in his seat to look at the boy, even after having a minor heart attack due to Mabel’s swerving.

“Are you, uh… Are you good?”

“Fine.” 

Bill nodded, a bit hurt, then turned back to face the road. Dipper's eyes wandered off of the world outside the window, to the blond in front of him.

_ I'm not saying love always leads to happiness. But in your case it's guaranteed! All you have to do is let your heart beat a little faster, your chest feel a little warmer and your mind think little brighter. All of that, you have to do because of  _ **_him._ ** _ That's your only cure. _

“Err, are you?”

Bill gave him a look. “Am I  _ what?” _

“Uhm, a-are you good?” Dipper spluttered out, feeling rather stupid.

The other gave him a smile, and then:

“Fine.”

  


* * *

  


“Dipper Mason Pines!” Bill’s laugh almost echoed in the crowded ballroom and if it wasn't for the music, he would have turned a few heads here and there. “I didn't know you were a dancer!”

Dipper continued to twirl and dance in the rhythm of the generic pop song loudly playing from the gigantic speakers. His hair waved up and down as his hair bobbed in sync with his moves and his eyes were just  _ slightly  _ glazed over from all the alcohol. He was having fun, and alcohol did an  _ amazing  _ job at making him forget about all the Axolotl and Bill and falling in love bullshit.

“I didn't know either!” He said, followed by a slight chuckle, silent enough for nobody except for Bill to hear.

And just how awful it was for Bill to admit there was something about the little snort in Dipper's laugh and how his lips curled up and how genuinely happy he looked… But he wasn't.

And in that moment Bill had told himself that even though he didn't care about himself anymore, he needed to break the bond for Dipper. Because,  _ damn it,  _ after everything he has done to Dipper and his family, Dipper deserved it. He deserved to be happy and not rot away tied to a monster like Bill.

A nudge snapped Bill out of his trance and he looked up from the floor to see Dipper has now stopped dancing, and was staring at him with something close to concern in his eyes. Bill almost blushed (key word:  _ almost)  _ under the other's gaze, shifting awkwardly from his tense stance to a more casual one.

They just stared at each other for what, to Bill, seemed like an hour, before Dipper decided to step up a little bit closer, making things even worse for the other boy.

“Are you good?”

Bill wanted to laugh at the question, quite frankly, he secretly did. That sentence was now an inside joke, and it was ridiculous because  _ he  _ was the one who said it first!

“I’m good.” He answered, and to be fair, he wasn't being dishonest. He really  _ was  _ okay, considering everything that happened, he was great! And yet, he still felt like he was lying through gritted teeth. Because _ not being fine _ is what started all of this, isn't it?

“Hold on.” Dipper prompted, and that was all he said before he disappeared in the crowd. Bill followed the bush of chestnut brown hair for as long as his eyes had let him, all until it was gone from his vision. It felt as if his shoes were glued to the hardwood floor, leaving him to awkwardly stand in a middle of a wave of ball gowns and suits, drowning in rich-people perfume without a hint of sweat, despite all the dancing and very little personal space.

Dipper returned shortly, swaying with two glasses in both of his hands. He almost tripped when he handed one over to Bill but thankfully, he had somehow caught himself. Or caught onto Bill’s bicep.  _ Same thing. _

Dipper placed his head on Bill's shoulder, drunk giggles escaping his parted lips. When Bill downed his drink with a grimace, the giggling came to an abrupt stop. Bill tilted his head just enough to catch a glimpse of the other boy. Dipper’s eyes were closed, he was humming the exact melody of the song which helped Bill conclude that he wasn't, in fact, completely wasted.

They stood there for a while, Dipper relaxed and drunk, Bill tense and trying his best not to move. Mabel would've  _ freaked _ if she saw them! 

Speaking of Mabel, where  _ is _ she?

With that thought, Dipper snapped out of his drunken trance, straightening up and marching away like a little kid. Bill just silently watched for a few moments before Dipper walked back to him and grabbed him by the hand.

They didn't say a word while the whole drunk-kid-tugging-a-sober-kid-to-god-knows-where action was going on. But to be fair, Bill wasn't far from being drunk either. He had grabbed a plastic cup on the go, downed ¾ of it and swirling the remained liquid as a way to distract himself from the sting Dipper’s hold on him was creating.

Before he knew it, Bill was tugged up the stairs and both him and Dipper were standing in front of one of the (probably private) rooms of the Northwest mansion.

Dipper was the first one to bravely open the door, and Bill followed suit, only to be stopped by Dipper's arm on the doorframe.

“What's going  _ oh-” _

In the bed, asleep (or at least they thought so) laid no other pair than Mabel and Pacifica. Dipper stared in mixed awe and disgust, and Bill on the other hand, felt slightly embarrassed for some odd reason.

Mabel stirred in her sleep before slowly waking up, rubbing at her eyes to get the sleepiness out. She stared at the two of boys as if she was a computer processing information, before gasping silently enough not to wake up Pacifica. Mabel scrambled up to her feet slowly, before walking over and punching her brother in the shoulder. Dipper didn't even wince, standing still as a board,leaning against the doorframe.

Mabel gave Bill a friendly pat on the shoulder, opposing to the pretty harsh punch her brother earned. The music in the background was the only noise filling the air, before Bill decided to talk.

“Don't you think it's irresponsible for the-” He nudged his head towards Pacifica's sleeping form, “- party girl --  _ or the party host, if you will --  _ to fall asleep cuddling her secret girlfriend?”

“Everything will be just  _ fine.  _ She's not hosting a bunch of toddlers.” Mabel waves her hand nonchalantly. “Also, what are you two here for? Looking for a room for yourself, hm?” 

“Actually, yeah.”

Both Bill and Mabel winced because -- unless their ears were deceiving them -- that came from Dipper. 

“Aww, Dip Dop is wasted~” Mabel teases, nudging her brother. Dipper pushes at her arm, a neutral expression on his face.

“No. I meant it. We’re -” He hiccups, which does not help his argument, “-supposed to love each other or. Whatever. Axolotl was here while you two were gone. He told me that."

Mabel puts on a quizzical look before bursting into laughter. “Y-you two? Together? Dipper, you're so drunk, dear _God.”_    


Bill is left to join in the show, laughing a bit himself. “Yeah! As if I'd _ actually  _ be able to love you!”

He halts at his own words, but too late -- it has already been said -- and Dipper's head had already snapped towards him, a flash of hurt visible across his flushed face.

“No, shit, I didn't mean it like that.” Bill tries, uselessly though, because Dipper's first retort was telling him to leave.

Bill, of course, didn't obey. He stood still on the ground -- although his legs were shaking just slightly -- and kept wiping his sweaty palms against his pants.

“I said  _ leave.”  _ Dipper spits again, venomous and full of anger. Bill was already ready yo yell back that he  _ can't  _ but Dipper's hands were on his shoulders and he was pushed, the  other boy sending him toppling backwards. 

Bill stared up at Dipper in disbelief and through the splotches of red. He scrambled up to his feet, dusting himself off and straightening his clothes --  __ like an egomaniac he is,  Dipper thought.

Bill's mouth opened to say something, his eyes still planted on Dipper. He swallowed harshly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ hi i lost all confidence in my writing and i despise this story and how cringe-worthy and cliche it is and I just want to finish it so i dont have to look at it ever again, thank you.
> 
> \+ also, a brief mention of my first story, the venom in my veins - i do not have a clue of what to do with it. major writing block. it sucks. my writing sucks, uGH.
> 
> \+ Im just gonna keep writing one shots until something hits me. a brick, preferably. 
> 
> \+ anyway, my son bill is an idiot. that was expected. 
> 
> \+ I wrote this at 3 am after an hour of crying so i was like "oh boy what a great coping mechanism would it be to put my pain on my characters!!! writing is great!!11" I regret life, basically.
> 
> \+ kudos, comments n stuff make my day and take my pain away, pls save a local gay!!! ilu
> 
> \+ see you next chapter if i dont delete this yikes adios

**Author's Note:**

> So uhm, I've been kinda "eh" with my first work and am kind of having a writers block with it, so while that was put on wait I had this idea and started writing and just... Couldn't stop.
> 
> This work will be really angsty and full of sad stuff (read the tags) so proceed with caution.
> 
> I'll try to update this every Sunday, that is, once every week. This is a lot different from my first work but I still really hope you like it!
> 
> Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed this chapter! Kudos and comments are very appreciated :)


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